Browsing Tag


dear sleep,

rants January 12, 2016

An Open Letter To Sleep:

I miss you.

No, really, I miss you a lot. I miss drifting off to sleep at a normal hour and then STAYING ASLEEP FOR MORE THAN AN HOUR.

Tonight,  I fell asleep at 11:45pm, was up at 12:30,  1:10, 3:15, and then finally gave up the ghost at 4something.


I think lack of sleep is starting to make me ugly. No, really.

I think lack of sleep is the reason my ass is the size of a small planet. NOT my desire to have chips and queso. Or Reeses shaped anything.

I think lack of sleep is making me a bitchy, obsessive human.

I think the nightmares I’m having every single night has something to do with the lack of sleep- Last nights horror movie of sleep involved me a.) getting into a physical altercation with my arch nemesis b.) having my house robbed c.) when driving to a hotel to sleep after my house was robbed, my car was hit repeatedly in the parking lot of the hotel and a note was left on the window “suck it.”

Ya. I’m sure I probably need therapy, or just a REAL NIGHT OF SLEEP.

I’ve taken Lunesta. I’ve taken Nytol, Nyquil, Ambien (I sleep walk/shop), melasomething and tylenol PM. I’ve done sleepy time yoga, breathing exercises, blah blah. NOTHING WORKS. If I drink too late, then sleep is really not going to happen. Translation? I am at a total loss. Tomorrow night, I’m going to try sleeping in another room.

I’ve cut out caffeine after 5pm. I’ve started drinking decaffeinated hot tea. I’ve increased the water consumption. I’ve bought new sheets, new comforter, cozy pj’s. I tried diffusing essential oils in the air of my bedroom. I stopped watching tv in the bedroom. I leave my phones in the other part of the house. Only one of the dogs sleeps on the other side of the bed. He doesn’t even touch me, therefore, I can’t blame him.



I’m really starting to think I’m just going to never sleep again, or at least never get a solid night. I was just exist on a string of naps. I will essentially have to spend a large portion of my income on concealer and pray that no one notices the fact that I’m unable to string together sentences.

See, I would be ok with the lack of sleep if I was responsible for the survival of a baby. You know, those little creatures that rarely sleep when they are supposed to. That would be a justifiable reason for being a cracked out, exhausted maniac.

Me? I have no excuse. I just have nightmares about highly improbable life scenarios and/or lay in bed running through the list of things I forgot to do the day before.







This is what happens when I don’t sleep

random me June 26, 2014


Good Morning! It appears that if I am meant to publish an entry, it must happen prior to 7am in the morning!

Speaking of mornings, at 2:15am, I woke up in a CRAZY panic realizing that I didn’t publish any of the 45 pages of content I wrote yesterday. Seriously, who does that? Here I spent the majority of my day yesterday writing and editing content and I didn’t hit Publish? WHO DOES THAT?


I do.

I managed to fall back asleep for about an hour, and then decided that I wanted to review some reports that a client sent me. Sweet.

I fell back asleep for another 30 minutes and decided that I needed to check email. Bad, terrible, no good idea. Whatsoever.

The moral of this story? Once you start working in the middle of the night, you are screwed. And not in the good way.

This is what today means, in between having an appointment that requires me to drive, two different people working on my house, and a volunteer thing later this afternoon, I am most certainly going to require a nap. If no nap is taken, I apologize in advance for what shall come out of my mouth. Btw- this is a pretty cool breakdown of naps. I’m down with the 60 minute nap, but will happily squeeze in a 10 minute disco nap if I can.


Now that I’ve dumped that random content, I’d like to share a few tidbits that are floating around my head:

1.) I am stupidly jealous of my BFF as she and her husband head to Michigan today. I hate that I’ve not been home in a year, with no date to travel in sight. I need to make this happen before October. This is my Michigan Mission.

2.) I laugh at my big fat yellow dog- This morning, as I sit here typing away, I see him laying on my robe with a toy and a towel under his head. He lives comfortably.

3.)  I need to invest in a Thunder Shirt for Black Dog. She lost her fool mind yesterday (and the day before that) with the storms.

4.) Speaking of storms- Really? Haven’t we had enough?

5.) Have I mentioned that I’d like to go home?

6.) It is one week away from ‘Merica Day. Aka, I MAKE THE HOUSE ALL STAR SPANGLED SPARKLY. There will be music. There will be thematic food. Even if it’s just for me. Perhaps I might invite one or two people over. Then again, maybe I’ll just sing “coming to ‘merica and eat my Fancy Pants Independence Day Dessert all by myself.”

Life has exponentially improved over here on Lavender Lane lately. I’ve got a wee project that I can’t wait to talk about. No, correction, I yearn to talk about, but need to hold off a bit before I run my mouth. My garden is thriving, I’m laughing a lot and I look forward to each day. I laugh at the overly dramatical, and shake my head at the truly un-understandable.


Next blog post? The Curse of The Fantasy Football Team.