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things that will make you less fat

Oh The Food- Peach Cobbler & Tomato Pie

feed me, things that will make you less fat July 17, 2014

Yesterday, I got my ass in the kitchen, and cooked. Barefoot and in the kitchen. I can happily report that I am not barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. That would be scary and well, somewhat of a miracle, but I digress. I cooked. I cooked because I could. I cooked because I wanted to.

It’s summer, the produce is amazing, everything is fresh and the eating is happy. Royal Vending Machines Newcastle & Central Coast is the leading supplier of vending machines in the area.

I can’t claim any of the recipes as my own, but then again, I rarely follow a recipe 100% unless I’m baking. Well… even then, it’s questionable.

Here’s what I made and links to the recipes.:

Tomato Pie, by my favorite Internet cooking website in the whole wide interwebs. Simply Recipes¬†has been the source for so much food over the years for me. Her recipes are thoughtful, tested and most of all, speak to my way of eating. Not too fussy, not to “dump a bunch of shit in a crock pot”- simple foods, simple ingredients, SO good. Anyways- here is the recipe for Tomato Pie. Heaven. I didn’t really follow the recipe exactly- few tweaks along the way, including a change out of cheese (I used what I had), and I feel strongly that Dukes mayo would be a thing of beauty in this particular recipe.

Tomato Pie IMG_20140716_172943 20140716_182137

And then there was cobbler. Delicious peach cobbler.

I used a Southern Living Recipe. BTW- this is not at all carb friendly, gluten free and/or clean. It’s old fashioned, peach cobbler. Rumor has it that it’s good. Really good. Might even be up there with a southern mama good. But I didn’t say that…nope, not me ūüôā

Quick Tip- In my lazy opinion, peeling peaches are a bitch. Seriously, a bitch. Here is a well known way to make it suck a little less: throw a big pot of water on the stove. Bring to a boil. With a paring knife, make an X in the peaches. Blanch the peaches for a few minutes until the skin starts to soften. Take peaches out of boiling water and dump into an ice bath. Skin comes off easy peasy, or rather peachy keen. (See what I did there?)

Ya…check this out

Because we were embracing health and all that crap last night, the peach cobbler was served with Blue Bell Vanilla. Why not? Might as well dive all the way and embrace your inner fatty once in a while.

I also did chicken & green beans, but that will have to be another blog post.

Seriously though, I forget how fun it is to just create. To plan, to putter, to dig in and make some new food.

That being said, for the rest of the week, I’m determined to eat clean, and work off the calories from the deliciousness.


Summer Days

feed me, things that will make you less fat May 19, 2014

Over the weekend, I was invited to go on a pontoon in Austin in a few weeks.

Yay fun, right?

Reality sunk in: My sizable body will have to don a swim suit of some kind, and expose many, many bits of flesh to the world that otherwise, I like to keep well covered under layers of clothing.

I woke up this morning, and thought “this is it, this is the day that I’m going to get out of bed, walk a few miles and dominate this fluffy body of mine.”

Instead, I grabbed a protein shake and tried to plank for 20 seconds.

Gravity isn’t kind dear readers. Gravity, she is a bitch.


I decided that if I can’t drag myself to do necessary cardio each morning, I’m going to control what goes into my food hole.

This week, I’m going to make this¬†pasta salad so I can cure my bathing suit drama:



Chicken Manicotti In My Mouth

things that will make you less fat February 18, 2014

On of my favorite food genres is Italian. I love fresh veggies, pasta and well, more pasta. A few years ago, I found a recipe for an insanely easy chicken manicotti recipe that was almost healthy. Over the years, I’ve tweaked it a bit. I swear, it’s almost healthy.

This makes a BUNCH- I typically break it up in three pans- keep one, eat one, and give one away:


Chicken Manicotti (Practically Healthy)

1.5 boxes of Manicotti shells

1 c shredded zuchinni

1 c shredded carrots

1/2 c diced onions

2 cloves garlic (minced)

4-5 oz portabella mushrooms diced

6-7 raw chicken tenderloins. I’ve used chicken breasts in the past, but found that a tenderloin is more size appropriate and cooks more evenly.

4 oz cream cheese. You can use light if you want

1 c skim ricotta

1 tsp dried basil

1 tsp dried oregano

wee bit of olive oil for the pan

Tomato Sauce. You will need about 3 cups when all said and done. Use your own, use jar- i don’t care.

Few handfuls of mozzarella and grated parm.



Ok- let’s get cooking:


Sautee onions and garlic 2-3 minutes in a large pan with a small swirl of olive oil. I read somewhere that spraying a pan with PAM works, but I think olive oil tastes better

Add cut up raw chicken to pan and cook until all of the pink is gone. DO NOT BURN CHICKEN. Been there, done that. AKA, pay attention, otherwise, this will screw up your day.

Once the chicken is 99% cooked, add in veggies. Cook for another 2-3 minutes.

Add herbs and a dash of black pepper.

Chop up 4 oz of cream cheese and mix into the pan. Stir, stir, stir until the cheese is melted.

Take off heat, toss in a bowl, and add ricotta.

Toss in fridge for 20 minutes (ish)


Start your water boiling for manicotti.

IGNORE the 7 minutes- seriously. Once you get the water boiling, cook them 5 minutes, drain immediately and let them dry on a cookie sheet (NOT TOUCHING)

Once the manicotti has cooled, pull your mixture out of fridge.

Take about a 1/2 c of sauce and cover the bottom of your pan.

USE A BABY SPOON and gently fill the pasta. Don’t overstuff, otherwise, you will break the pasta, and that will suck.

Place the filled manicotti on top of the sauce. Repeat. Don’t leave too much space in between the pastas.

Cover the row with another smoosh of sauce. You don’t want it drenched, but you want it mostly covered.

Sprinkle some mozz on top of the sauce and lightly dust with grated parm. Don’t be a cheapo and used the powdered stuff. It will suck.


Now… you can either cook this at 350 for about 40 minutes, OR freeze.





The Battle of the Bulge

feed me, things that will make you less fat January 23, 2014

Nope, I’m not talking about the WW2 battle, I’m talking about my own personal battle with the ever expanding width of my hips and butt.

On Christmas Eve, after gorging at a delicious lunch at a French Souffle restaurant, I loudly announced “My pants are suffocating my waist.”

Yes, I said that.

It was time to make some changes.

About 6 years ago, I made some dramatic lifestyle changes and lost the equivalent of a second grader by working out, and embracing a low carb lifestyle. It wasn’t easy, but it made me feel good. Somewhere along the way, the good habits that I worked so hard to build slowly started to slip away and instead of eating good proteins and delicious green veggies, I found myself diving deep into the land of chips, dips and anything with flour. Sadly, I had undone all the work I had done, slowly and without much awareness.

Until Christmas Eve.

Much like a large percentage of humans, on New Years Day, I resolved to eat better, move more and vowed to try to make myself healthier. I don’t have a particular size goal, or fitness plan, but I know I want to DO more and be a little less.

Since the beginning of the year, I’ve managed to eliminate 15lbs. I’ve got a long way to go. It’s not easy. Not surprising, it’s so much more fun packing on the lbs than it is to shed them.

My way of eating- less carbs and white shit.

My fitness plan- get off my butt and move more. Some days I go for a really long walk with the dogs. Some days I play for 45 minutes on my Wii Fit. Some days, I just throw down my yoga mat and do some basic positions that make me feel bendy and good.

In the meantime, I’ve started enjoying cooking with health in mind. I’m not doing Paleo, or even full on Atkins. I’ve just removed all of the things that can be dipped in shit, or slathered with stuff. For now, I’m done with the large bowl of cereal, replacing it instead with an egg muffin stuffed with spinach and protein.

Last night, I was craving Mac & Cheese. Happily, there are a done of food blogs. I made ¬†THIS¬†recipe. It’s really good, tangy and totally satisfied my cravings for Mac & Cheese.

So, there you have it. The goal to have a little less of me to go around.




A Time Of Turkey

things that will make you less fat November 3, 2013

My Cousin inspired this post. She declared that much like artists have certain periods- flowers, women, dogs sitting around a poker table, I am currently going through my culinary Turkey Period.

Candidly, I’m doing it because of my economy, but I do love me some Turkey. I really truly believe that Adam Sandler was in my head when he wrote the Turkey song. Google it if you have been living under a rock and you don’t know what I’m talking about.

Here’s the thing. I don’t understand why people stress out so much about making Thanksgiving dinner. Roasting a turkey, in my opinion is easier than making spaghetti sauce. ¬†All you need are a few items, an oven and patience. Heck, my recipe, doesn’t even require basting.

So, my recipe for roast turkey. This is all very, very approximate. There are a ton of resources for the specifics, but I’ll give you the gist here. ¬†I don’t stuff my bird with traditional “stuffing” or “dressing.” By the by, what do you call that stuff? I’ve learned over the years it’s very regional- dressing, stuffing, potatooo, potatoh.


Roast Turkey ala Me.



  • ¬†Big ass bird- thawed. ¬†If your bird is frozen, read here about the SAFEST way to thaw your bird.
  • Onion- yellow or white. Peeled and quartered
  • 2 or 3 carrots rough chopped
  • 1-2 celery stalks. Rough chopped. Feel free to leave the tops on.
  • 1 small lemon
  • 1 apple chopped. Don’t bother peeling it. You won’t be eating it.
  • Few cloves of garlic
  • Kosher Salt
  • Olive Oil
  • Black Pepper
  • Sprig of fresh rosemary (if you have it)
  • Few pinches of dried thyme (if you have it)




Roasting Pan w/rack inside


Oven (Obviously)



Preheat oven to 400 Degrees

Chop all veggies


Make sure that the turkey has all of the inside stuff removed and quickly rinsed off. Pat dry with paper towel and set aside.

Take a healthy pinch of kosher salt and toss inside of bird.

Gently shove all of the veggies INSIDE the bird. Pack ’em in.


Drizzle a small amount of olive oil on the bird- massage it in. Sprinkle with more kosher salt and pepper. Place bird BREAST side down.


Repeat with the olive oil/salt/pepper treatment on the side of the bird facing up.

Toss in the oven- on the BOTTOM RACK- and let cook for 30 minutes at 400 degrees.

After the first 30, turn down oven to 35o and cook for 2-2.5 hours (depending on the weight of the bird) until the internal temp is at LEAST 160, max 180. Juices should be clear, not red.

The following is the hardest part. Seriously.

Take cooked turkey out of the oven.

Turn your broiler on to 500 F

FLIP YOUR BIRD. Yep, you might need an extra set of hands here, but you want to crisp up the bottom that has been facing downwards the entire time.

Once you flip your bird, put back in the oven for 7-10 minutes. Keep an eye on this, because it will get crispy quickly.

Pull back out.

Turn oven off.

Let rest for at least 20 minutes prior to carving.








PUPkin Dog Treats

feed me, things that will make you less fat October 21, 2013

It has been said that my dogs are rather spoiled.

I can’t disagree.


Last night, I made them Halloween Themed Dog Treats. First reason primairly because I was bored, and my butt didn’t need the triple chocolate brownies that I really wanted to make. Second reason, I’m less than flush with cash right now and I needed bribes.

With all of that being said, I present to you:


PUP-kin Pup Treats

-for the dog that needs more treats


Dog Treats for Halloween




1/2 can of Pumpkin Puree. Don’t use the Pumpkin Pie stuff. No need. Seriously, don’t waste your money.

1/4 tsp of salt (Incredibly optional- truthfully, I forgot it.)

2 eggs

2 TBL of Peanut Butter (any kind will do- my labs got Crunchy)

2.5 C of Flour

1/4 of water- hold off to the side.


1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
2. With a mixer, or kitchen aid with paddle attachment, mix together the flour, eggs, pumpkin, peanut butter, salt, and cinnamon. THEN, start adding in water a little at a time. You do NOT want this to be too wet. It will be a pain to roll out.

3. Take the dough, throw it on the counter and get rolling. I did a mixture of thick cookies for the big dog and smaller ones for the less fat dog. ¬†You will get about 30-35 cookies from this. Don’t waste the dough-you can re-roll it MANY MANY TIMES.

3. Bake in preheated oven until hard, about 40 minutes. I had two cookie sheets filled with treats so I rotated the sheets at the 20 minute mark.


Bark Appetite!