Last night, my poor friend Danielle called me. I say “poor” because she got to witness (hear) the train-wreck of me melting down as my allergies were taking over my body. In fact, I said to her “if I die, please give Weezie a good home, and just know that my last meal might have contained a reeses peanut butter egg.”

Yes, that’s how dreadful my head/lungs/ears were yesterday. Or maybe I was off the charts dramatic. We shall never know because happily, I didn’t die. Yet.


Truthfully, they aren’t much better today, but I feel more prepared for the histamine onslaught that awaits me today. I snorted Dymista. I took Zyrtec. I used two of my precious drivers license Sudafeds. I popped an advil. I’m ready. Bring it.

Speaking of Bringing It, I feel like I finally conquered the time change. I woke up at my normal 5:30 this morning and didn’t drag booty. This probably has something to do with the fact that I drugged myself and was asleep by 8pm CST last night, but we won’t split hairs.

One of the last things I remember doing last night before the Nyquil kicked in was google “places where there are no trees.”

Yes, I did.

I also googled “where can I find a man that isn’t an idiot?” AND “where to buy Tyler candles.”

It’s fair to say that I was diverse in my searching last night. It’s also exciting to see that I didn’t do any late night online shopping. I think I might have broken the cycle of shame there. I did fall asleep watching the Home Shopping Network. Hopefully, I didn’t buy anything, or god forbid call in.

Nah, I wouldn’t have done that.


I think.