The most perfect time of day is right now. 5:03am. I’ve been up for 45 glorious moments of selfish silence. I’ve got Pearl Jam quietly (if possible) playing in another part of the house. I’ve showered, fed the dog, flipped a load of laundry, kicked off the dishwasher, and relished in the silence.
I’ve been purposely getting up this time of day for most of my life. From grade 8-senior year, it was out of pure necessity. I had to travel over 90 minutes to get to school via bus. In college, this was my prime study time. Immediately post college, I was already at work, in the bakery well into the third hour of the shift as a pastry gal… flipping breads and getting ready to start the cookies.
Throughout my adulthood, this was a period of the day in which I would either enjoy the silence, or selectively choose whom I would converse. I may be up, I may be dressed, but I typically don’t have much to say right now. At another point of my life, this was a unique transition time- my morning, someone elses evening, and we would share this time, in our own way, catching up, being quiet and just being.
This morning as I was going about my routine, I realized how much I do value this time. It is the single period of my day in which no human wants a damn thing from me. My boss knows better to communicate before 7am. My friends are mostly still asleep or already are on the treadmill. My other non work commitments aren’t real until much later in the day. This is simply my time, to do as I wish, without direction from others.
While I was standing in the uber hot shower, trying to clear the cobwebs, I realized that this is my perfect time because most likely I haven’t annoyed anyone, nor has anyone annoyed me. It’s pure. This may sound absurd to many of you, but it’s true.
From a personal perspective, in almost every relationship, the morning hours hours were ours. Schedules would collide into this time and allow for unfettered, free dialogue (or not.)
I do miss those morning hours with Tokyo. Our days intersecting, one beginning, one winding down. A calm moment of connection before we head down the next path of our days. I really miss the mornings with the other one. My morning, his night. Less contemplative, more human. No chaos to pull attention away from each other, allowing us to focus on the matter at hand, be it talk, sleep or more. Alas, those days (nights) are so gone, I’ve started to think that perhaps I’ve romanticized them a bit. It’s a good memory to have nevertheless, and i’ll hold onto that for a bit longer.
I’m a weird morning person. I’m up, I’m productive, but I don’t say much. It’s the silence that really does it for me. Focusing in on the music selection that sets my mood for the day. Getting things accomplished. Seeing the day set well before me.
But now it’s time to really move into Phase 1.5- get shit done. Make the bed, run the vaccuum, charge all of the electronics… work out, and then dive headlong into a Starbucks.
Make this day awesome why don’t you?