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thanks

A Month Of Thanks

manifestos November 1, 2015
Read Time1 Minute, 45 Second

In honor of the month of November, aka, the kick off to eating season, I find myself in a place of deep, deep snark. I mean, epic snark, and struggling to find the grace to behave like a functioning, polite adult in most conversations.

SOOOOOO….

I decided to jump on the “thanks” bandwagon and try to find something each day that I am more or less thankful for. If you have seen my attempts at this before, I’ve mentioned my thanks for grapes, because when they rot, they turn into wine, and I’ve also been thankful for cows, because they turn into delicious, heavenly steak.

So, without further ado, I offer for review, my daily thanks, complete with a lame Precious Moments graphic.

thankspm

1. I give thanks for George, my new rescue dog. 50lbs of 11 month old half basset/half lab male pup. He is curious (like the monkey), sassy (like George Jefferson) and clumsy (like George of the Jungle.) He keeps me on my toes, and aware of anything I have laying around. You know, like a wooden spoon, or a $90 bra.

2. I give thanks for the fact that I can bend over and give myself a pedicure. With the personal economy being much like Greeces, I find myself eschewing the lavish expenditures at an Asian nail salon, instead trying to make my Fred Flintstone feet look less pre-historic, and more girl-like. I am thankful that I have a reason to get a job: to be able to get another pedicure, and I’m really thankful that it’s practically boot season, so that no one can see the HIDEOUS job I did today painting. It looks like a toddler, cracked out on Halloween candy did the job.

3. I’m thankful for the fact that I had over 200 kids last night come through trick or treating. I didn’t want/need any left over candy. Especially the Reeses pumpkins. Ya, I need to keep chanting that one. My ass thanks the kids, even if my brain is semi bitter.

Stay tuned for tomorrows installment of November Thanks.

 

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31 Comments

Dolly Parton Inspired Thanks

random me November 3, 2013
Read Time3 Minute, 53 Second

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xAQ2SiSAt-A

My morning started like a Dolly Parton song.

“Tumbled out of bed and stumbled into the kitchen. Poured myself a cup of ambition.”

My version: Stumbled out of bed and tripped over the dogs. Cracked open the first diet coke while I made the coffee.

Few thoughts of lesser import:

 

1.) Dogs don’t give a shit about Daylight Savings Time. I knew that they wouldn’t care, and they didn’t. At 4:45 local time, Weezie started her morning frantic pacing. She needed to go patrol and she needed breakfast STAT.

2.) My allergies are hellacious. I’m becoming a regular at CVS/Walgreens trying to find some combination of drugs that make me function like a basic human. Tie that together with getting up at the asscrack of dawn, I KNEW that today was going to be awesome. I popped some drivers license generic Sudafed and waited for the little miracles to kick in.

Since I was up before God made his appearance, I decided to be somewhat productive. I found a recipe last night for a bread that is almost brioche in nature and appeared to be somewhat tasty. I started my bread before the sun even came up, and if my bread sense is working, I think it’s going to be yummy. I loaded up my coffee pot with Dunkin Donuts finest ground beans, and started my day.

I think it’s also important to mention that without my glasses, I’m blind. Not just “life is kinda fuzzy in a good way” blind, but really incapable of seeing much. When I woke up this morning to let the Hounds of Hell outside, I forgot to put my glasses on. The morning was really quite lovely in a mild haze. Lovely until I stepped into the bathroom to brush my teeth.

I looked in the mirror and screamed. I HAVE A HUGE BALD SPOT. I mean, HUGE. At my hairline, it appeared that all of my hair had fallen away overnight.  I started panicking and immediately thinking about my collection of hats, bandanas and the wigs that I would need to cover said HUGE ASS BALD SPOT.

At this very same moment, I realized, I should probably go find my glasses.

When armed with my glasses, I realized, no, my hair didn’t fall out, but I really, really need to get my roots done. What appeared to be a big ole bald spot without glasses, was in reality, a HUGE patch of white, (or as my friend Julie says, sparkly) hair. When compared to the rest of my hair (which is currently a lovely shade of brownish red, it looked GONE.

Dear baby Jesus, my hair is really gray.

Crisis averted, I head back into the kitchen to kick off the bread. I gaze into the living room to see the dogs, the same dogs that less than 30 minutes ago were bouncing off the walls, passed out cold and snoring.

Thanks friends.

Back to the kitchen, diet coke in one hand, sudafed in my body, and waiting patiently for the coffee to brew. I’ve got the milk & butter simmering on the stove to be delicately placed in the bowl of my stand mixer to complete the brioche.

I realized at that moment, the moment my sudafed kicked in, that it’s going to be a long long day.

A few days ago, I made a bold statement that I was going to find something daily to give thanks for. Ya, I already kinda biffed that up, but here is my prior two days catch-up.

 

1.) I’m thankful for drivers licensed strength decongestants.

2.) I’m thankful that my amazing hair guru Lacie will be attending to the nightmare grey(gray?) situation on my head.

3.) I’m thankful that last weeks power surge didn’t kill my KitchenAid. I really think I would have needed to be tranquilized if that happened.

4.) I’m thankful that it’s finally not hot. I’m really thankful that I have a backyard in which I can sit in the mornings, wearing leopard print pj bottoms, a Pure Michigan sweatshirt and purple Uggs, and not have anyone judge my less than stellar wardrobe choices.

5.) I’m very thankful for caffiene.

 

ps- if you expect to see warm fuzzy thoughts of thanks coming from me, you have really come to the wrong place. Last November, I thanked Cows for delicious beef and darling boots, grapes that give me wine and assholes that make me look smart.

Sweet I am not.

So, there you have it. Morning rambles of the best kind.

 

 

 

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Blessings and Thanks

craft me November 1, 2013
Read Time49 Second

Happy November. It certainly feels more fall-ish this morning- only 48 degrees. This makes me happy AND thankful that my darn A/C doesn’t have to be on.

I’ve got the folks in Central Texas on my mind today- the floods yesterday were crazy. A friend of mine posted that many won’t have basic services (electricity, gas, water) for a few weeks. Thats INSANE. I’m thankful that casualty number appears to be low.

I found a project on Pinterest (shocking) that I think I’m going to undertake this month. It basically has you hanging a small bit of paper with a daily blessing written down and attached to the tree. Since I lost my mind in September, I launched a Harvest tree (picture below), so I think I’m going to attach a daily thought/thankful and see if it helps me “set myself .

So, there you go. My November plan. To be thankful. To be present and to spend less time online.

treeoblessings

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