Browsing Tag


lack of voice

random me November 5, 2013

equals lack of wordy blog.

words wear me out today.

seriously, day 10 of allergypalloza and I feel less than.

lack of voice, lack of energy, but happily, i can breathe today.

the upside is that i rediscovered an album today that makes me happy.

things are looking up.

Dolly Parton Inspired Thanks

random me November 3, 2013

My morning started like a Dolly Parton song.

“Tumbled out of bed and stumbled into the kitchen. Poured myself a cup of ambition.”

My version: Stumbled out of bed and tripped over the dogs. Cracked open the first diet coke while I made the coffee.

Few thoughts of lesser import:


1.) Dogs don’t give a shit about Daylight Savings Time. I knew that they wouldn’t care, and they didn’t. At 4:45 local time, Weezie started her morning frantic pacing. She needed to go patrol and she needed breakfast STAT.

2.) My allergies are hellacious. I’m becoming a regular at CVS/Walgreens trying to find some combination of drugs that make me function like a basic human. Tie that together with getting up at the asscrack of dawn, I KNEW that today was going to be awesome. I popped some drivers license generic Sudafed and waited for the little miracles to kick in.

Since I was up before God made his appearance, I decided to be somewhat productive. I found a recipe last night for a bread that is almost brioche in nature and appeared to be somewhat tasty. I started my bread before the sun even came up, and if my bread sense is working, I think it’s going to be yummy. I loaded up my coffee pot with Dunkin Donuts finest ground beans, and started my day.

I think it’s also important to mention that without my glasses, I’m blind. Not just “life is kinda fuzzy in a good way” blind, but really incapable of seeing much. When I woke up this morning to let the Hounds of Hell outside, I forgot to put my glasses on. The morning was really quite lovely in a mild haze. Lovely until I stepped into the bathroom to brush my teeth.

I looked in the mirror and screamed. I HAVE A HUGE BALD SPOT. I mean, HUGE. At my hairline, it appeared that all of my hair had fallen away overnight.  I started panicking and immediately thinking about my collection of hats, bandanas and the wigs that I would need to cover said HUGE ASS BALD SPOT.

At this very same moment, I realized, I should probably go find my glasses.

When armed with my glasses, I realized, no, my hair didn’t fall out, but I really, really need to get my roots done. What appeared to be a big ole bald spot without glasses, was in reality, a HUGE patch of white, (or as my friend Julie says, sparkly) hair. When compared to the rest of my hair (which is currently a lovely shade of brownish red, it looked GONE.

Dear baby Jesus, my hair is really gray.

Crisis averted, I head back into the kitchen to kick off the bread. I gaze into the living room to see the dogs, the same dogs that less than 30 minutes ago were bouncing off the walls, passed out cold and snoring.

Thanks friends.

Back to the kitchen, diet coke in one hand, sudafed in my body, and waiting patiently for the coffee to brew. I’ve got the milk & butter simmering on the stove to be delicately placed in the bowl of my stand mixer to complete the brioche.

I realized at that moment, the moment my sudafed kicked in, that it’s going to be a long long day.

A few days ago, I made a bold statement that I was going to find something daily to give thanks for. Ya, I already kinda biffed that up, but here is my prior two days catch-up.


1.) I’m thankful for drivers licensed strength decongestants.

2.) I’m thankful that my amazing hair guru Lacie will be attending to the nightmare grey(gray?) situation on my head.

3.) I’m thankful that last weeks power surge didn’t kill my KitchenAid. I really think I would have needed to be tranquilized if that happened.

4.) I’m thankful that it’s finally not hot. I’m really thankful that I have a backyard in which I can sit in the mornings, wearing leopard print pj bottoms, a Pure Michigan sweatshirt and purple Uggs, and not have anyone judge my less than stellar wardrobe choices.

5.) I’m very thankful for caffiene.


ps- if you expect to see warm fuzzy thoughts of thanks coming from me, you have really come to the wrong place. Last November, I thanked Cows for delicious beef and darling boots, grapes that give me wine and assholes that make me look smart.

Sweet I am not.

So, there you have it. Morning rambles of the best kind.




few thoughts post all-hallows eve

random me October 31, 2013

Few Thoughts at the end of my second favorite holiday:
1.) I’m seriously annoyed to see three Christmas commercials tonight on tv.I’m so not ready for Christmas.
2.) My power locks and power windows stopped working a few hours ago. Any ideas? Please tell me that it’s a fuse.
3.) I’ve not gotten an email in 8 hours. I can’t decide if that’s normal, or I should be concerned. I’m taking it as a gift tonight and will deal with it manana.
4.) Wearing a tutu is fun. If you need a wrap up- I really enjoy wearing sparkles and now tutus. I am SUCH a girl.

I’d like to think that I could write an elaborate post about Halloween, but honestly, it was fun. I love seeing kids come up and get candy. I got a kick out of blasting Pandora Halloween Party. I enjoyed drinking my not-coffee out of my Wicked Witch coffee cup.

I really  enjoyed wearing a sparkly tutu.





career choices i can eliminate

random me October 29, 2013

It has been suggested that perhaps I need to examine my career path and possibly pick a new life direction.


I don’t know much, but I know that the following list are jobs that I would fail with aplomb.


  • Nail Artist
  • Car Detailer
  • Exterminator
  • Mathematician

To further outline my point, shall I tell you a bit of my day today?

Woke up to a dead squirrel on the front porch. I don’t know how it died, or how it landed on my porch, but it seriously gagged me. Big time. Therefore, I realize that my skill set does not involve the removal of pests, dead or alive.

Car Detailer. I drive my car hard. I live in my car. If you looked at the back of my SUV, you would see any number of shoes, clothes, bags, and various diet coke cans tossed asunder. I decided this morning, while I was getting ready to drive to an interview, that perhaps I should “fluff” my car. After two minutes, I just tossed everything in the back 40 and put a bag over it. A cute, recyclable bag. Point being, I should not go into the “car detail” business.

Nail Artist. I’ve painted my nails not one, but two times today. First time- I was trying to replicate a cute “leopard print” nail I saw online. It looked like a four year old spilled a bottle of paint on my hands.



Second attempt, I used a really cool latex black nail polish, and I was going to put eye balls on my eyes like the darling picture below. Picture one- the model. Picture two- five minutes after I finished, I decided that i needed to scratch my head. With wet paint.







Mathematician – Considering it took me pulling out not one, but two calculators and a spreadsheet to update my own household budget, I think it’s fair to say we can easily remove that one from ever coming up in conversation.


The interview today- positive. Liked the woman I met with and interested in the opportunity. I’m very excited about tomorrows meetings. I do believe that the right thing will appear when least expected. Hopefully, it will happen before I have to go get a gig doing any of the aforementioned paths.



it all started with Vincent Price

random me October 28, 2013


God, I love Halloween. I love costumes, decorating, pumpkin themed stuff. More importantly than ANYTHING, I love, love, love Thriller.

Now, if you know me in the real world, you have to picture me this morning, doing the Thriller Dance in pj’s around my dogs.

It’s awesome.

Seriously though, this VIDEO used to scare the bejeezus out of me. I blame my sweet lovable Uncle Scott who made me watch it in my Grandparents basement. Or maybe, my Grandpa made me watch it. Either way, I blame the Carroll family.  These days, I feel it’s important to pass this bit of history down to the younger generations. Last week, I was babysitting two kids and we spent over an hour learning the thriller dance. Epic awesomeness.

These were the great days of MJ. When he was still black, still a observable male and more importantly, had the dance moves of a genius. How can you not want to start doing the thriller dance here and now?

The voice of Vincent Price used to spook me out, now I’m just proud that I know the entire thing.

Let’s be candid here: I’m a huge wimp. I hate, hate, hate, hate scary movies. I’ve never seen Poltergiest, Saw or anything with Freddy Krueger. I only know that 1-2 Freddy’s coming for you from one of my neighbors when I was a kid. NEVER have and never will see it. I finally saw the Exorcist last year, and I still am traumatized. Really, Thriller is about the speed in which I do scary. Barely scary with well choreographed dance moves.

In my perfect world, there would always be singing and dancing and someone doing a narration. Oh, and there would always be something baked and decorated thematically.

So, there you have it. The random musings of Michael Jackson and Halloween all before 9am on Monday morning.

Be awesome this week and don’t buy stupid candy for the trick-o-treaters. You know what I’m talking about- don’t buy the cheap ass stuff. Kids need the good stuff. They don’t need tootsie rolls or dum-dums. They need Kit-Kats and Reeses.

Or maybe I do.


all you can do is laugh

manifestos October 27, 2013

If you can’t laugh, what can you do?

I’m sitting in bed right now, just shaking my head. Buckets are down. My roof that the insurance company (Farmers Insurance) claims is perfectly fine, is leaking water in two rooms after a crazy, fast storm. I have holes in two ceilings. I have damage on my 60 year old wood floors in my office.

It gets better.

I went over to a friends house tonight to carve pumpkins with her four year old daughter. The storm came in and I headed home after it had eased up a bit.

I walk into my bedroom noticing an odd smell. I went to turn the tv on, and nothing happened. I got up, tried turning it on manually, and nothing. I grabbed both remotes, and realized that neither Blu Ray player or TV would power on. I flipped the surge protector, and half of the stuff turned on, the tv and player did not.

Ok, so at this point, the water started dripping onto my bed. Move the bed, put down the bucket, and decided to check in my home office.

Crap- water coming in there. Need to put down the bucket and unplug everything. Notice that the desktop PC is off. Tried turning it on, no avail. This too is fried. The printer, on the same surge protector works. Awesome.

Head to the bathroom in the front bedroom- light burned out. Everything else fine.

Main bathroom fine.


Oh, my hell, my kitchen.

My microwave appears to be fried.

My GFI won’t reset. Fridge isnt working.

Reset all breakers.

Still no fridge or toaster oven, but everything else in kitchen is working.

Go back to the first breaker panel and reset everything.

No Fridge or Dishwasher. Range and Convection Oven working.

Go to second breaker panel- reset everything.

Still no kitchen stuff.

Check the GFI in the final bathroom- reset no problem.

Check the laundry appliances. No problem.

7 lightbulbs burned out.

Move everything into garage fridge. (Smaller, but got everything of value in there)

Moved my freezer stuff into the other freezer. Tough fit, as I’ve been hoarding because of employment situation.

Give up for the night.

Here’s the thing. I still have a roof over my head (mostly)

TV’s can be replaced eventually.

DVD players can be as well.

There isn’t a lot of extra fundage right now to undertake an electrical project.

There is no money right now to rip off the bullshit roof and replace the ceilings (which probably are coated in mold.)

I’m trying. I really, truly am trying. I’m trying to keep plugging away at my contract work. I’m trying to find new work. I’m trying to find a job.  There comes a point however, where you have to say “how much more can happen?”

I’m trying to be a decent friend right now when all I would prefer to do is nap until things change.

I’m trying to be a decent volunteer right now.

I’m trying to be a decent human.

It’s not easy to be suzy effing sunshine and spin things into a positive direction. It’s not easy to get up and do the same things every day. It’s debasing to be offered an internship when you have 10 more years experience than the hiring manager. I do these things because I have to. My kitchen is my happy. It’s the little safe haven I have when all of this shit around me starts swirling. My tv in my bedroom is my comfort zone when the day just gets to be too much. These are all just things. Stupid, silly things. But they were my things, and I don’t have a lot right now.

I think it’s safe to say that I’m not having a good day today. I just want one calm week. One week where something doesn’t break, blow up or power surge. I want some work to come in. I want people not to be assholes to each other. I would like people to be a little kinder.

I would like for a storm not to surge the hell out of my house. I just can’t afford it- financially, mentally, or emotionally. At this point, I really just want to pack up my dogs, some of my stuff and go live down in my trailblazer down by the river.