Browsing Tag


The Battle of the Bulge

feed me, things that will make you less fat January 23, 2014

Nope, I’m not talking about the WW2 battle, I’m talking about my own personal battle with the ever expanding width of my hips and butt.

On Christmas Eve, after gorging at a delicious lunch at a French Souffle restaurant, I loudly announced “My pants are suffocating my waist.”

Yes, I said that.

It was time to make some changes.

About 6 years ago, I made some dramatic lifestyle changes and lost the equivalent of a second grader by working out, and embracing a low carb lifestyle. It wasn’t easy, but it made me feel good. Somewhere along the way, the good habits that I worked so hard to build slowly started to slip away and instead of eating good proteins and delicious green veggies, I found myself diving deep into the land of chips, dips and anything with flour. Sadly, I had undone all the work I had done, slowly and without much awareness.

Until Christmas Eve.

Much like a large percentage of humans, on New Years Day, I resolved to eat better, move more and vowed to try to make myself healthier. I don’t have a particular size goal, or fitness plan, but I know I want to DO more and be a little less.

Since the beginning of the year, I’ve managed to eliminate 15lbs. I’ve got a long way to go. It’s not easy. Not surprising, it’s so much more fun packing on the lbs than it is to shed them.

My way of eating- less carbs and white shit.

My fitness plan- get off my butt and move more. Some days I go for a really long walk with the dogs. Some days I play for 45 minutes on my Wii Fit. Some days, I just throw down my yoga mat and do some basic positions that make me feel bendy and good.

In the meantime, I’ve started enjoying cooking with health in mind. I’m not doing Paleo, or even full on Atkins. I’ve just removed all of the things that can be dipped in shit, or slathered with stuff. For now, I’m done with the large bowl of cereal, replacing it instead with an egg muffin stuffed with spinach and protein.

Last night, I was craving Mac & Cheese. Happily, there are a done of food blogs. I made  THIS recipe. It’s really good, tangy and totally satisfied my cravings for Mac & Cheese.

So, there you have it. The goal to have a little less of me to go around.




This, the 37th Year

random me January 6, 2014



It occurred to me yesterday that I’m turning 37 this year.

37 sounds like a Godforsaken number. Ya, ya, I know the alternative is a big ole dirt nap, but let’s face it- nothing about the sound of 37 is sexy.

I was bemoaning this fact to my friend at lunch today while we were digging into our plates of green stuff. Healthy eating 2014 started 6 days late for us, but hell, we are doing it.

Back to 37. 37 sounds weird. Sounds old. Sounds odd. I really don’t like the way it makes me feel deep down in my stomach. It makes me feel…. OLD.

Snap out if it Grigal. Get over it. You are entering into your 37th year and you have the ability to do something with it. While I was driving home from healthy lunch, I decided I’m going to do 37 things this year that I’ve never done before. Of course, because I’m me, and I need to share, I decided to document them and then along the way, write about them.


Here is the list of 37 things I’m going to do in this, my 37th year.

1. Pick a color and finally paint my bedroom.

2. Take 37 Yoga classes

3. Do a 10K

4. Go to the top of the Stratosphere

5. Have a champagne picnic at a park.

6. Go to the dentist

7. Road trip to someplace I’ve never been before

8. Eat oysters by a body of water

9. Bottle feed a baby calf

10. Downsize my butt

11. See a concert outside

12. Plant a vegetable garden (and not kill it)

13. Start and finish a knitting project for me

14. Disconnect digitally for 72 hours (no cheating)

15. Gamble on an Indian Reservation

16. Make a new friend

17.  Drink a cup of coffee in the French Quarter

18. Pay a big bill off

19. Go 24 hours without cursing once

20. Paint a picture

21. Visit a family member I’ve not seen in at least a year

22. Take a picture every day for a month

23. Go to the Drive-In movies

24. Go to a museum that I’ve not been to before

25. Paint the trim in my den. Scratch that- repaint the entire den, from top to bottom.

26. Spring and Fall Clean my house and get rid of stuff each time.

27. Go to four different churches

28. Ride my bike to downtown Arlington and have a drink.

29. Take a golf lesson

30.  Volunteer out in the community at least 6 times.

31. Give blood (if I can)

32. Go 5 days without spending a dime on anything

33. Play Euchre

34. Ride a horse and/or a tractor

35. Throw a summer solstice party

36. Read 37 books that I’ve not read before

37. ____________________________________________________________ Open to suggestions.


random me December 31, 2013

Life has been rather adventuresome in the past 4 months.

I realized that I’ve been surrounded and supported by some of the greatest people.

I have good friends and family.

I have amazing clients.

I have two dogs of labradorian lineage that keep me on my toes.

For almost two decades, I have been blessed with a sister from another mother who gets me, and supports me.

For almost a decade, I have a guy friend that has seen me in the scary yoga pants, poured a vodka when I needed it and called me a doltish jackass when I need the laugh.

I have new friends that I’m blessed to have in my life. Ones that sit on the back patio and just are THERE when I need them.

I have old friends who teach me what it’s like to be an Eagles fan. (Don’t ask, it’s complicated.)

I have my family and the families that have chosen me to be a part of their family.

I look forward to 2014. I look forward to a new year fresh without any mistakes in it. (Yet)

I crave new adventures. I look forward to the next chapter in the story of me.

Happy 2014. May this be the best  year yet. We are lucky to be alive to see the turning of the calendar.

Hug someone today, won’t you?


But Say A Prayer…

pinterest failures, random me December 12, 2013

Oh, I do love me a good Christmas song with 80’s men singing with exceptionally large hair. And mullets. God, I love Bono and a mullet.

Bad blogger lately. Been maintaining the business of surviving lately. Nothing spectacular to report, but I’ll give you the highlights of late:


1. Ezra the Anti-Elf on the Shelf and I put together a rather spectacular half-assed attempt at a Gingerbread House yesterday. By the time we came around to the front of the house, I got bored, Ezra was drunk on Sugar, and a nap was needed.

Simple Gingerbread House

Simple Gingerbread House


I’m preparing for the 9th annual Christmas Cookie exchange. My heart is half into it this year. Money is tight, so I can do the things I normally love to do. Oh well, cookies are cookies. Women are women and well, it will happen with or without the crazy little extras I like to do. Today is “bake the cookie” day. Tomorrow is “Decorate the cookie Day.” Saturday is “MAKE NEW COOKIE IF THESE SUCK DAY.”  Thanks to a darling friend however, I have a good amount of booze.

Cookie Exchange Booze

Cookie Exchange Booze


I thought about working out yesterday. I did. I really did. Instead, I watched my neighbor sit on his roof.



I started working on three new projects this week. Topics include craft cocktails, branding for small business and wait for it… vending machines.


The days, they are, if nothing, diverse.


12 Days Until Christmas Eve.

12 Days Left to Griswald my exterior. The interior is quite cracked out.

christmas tree decorating, christmas ideas

12 Days Left to make my presents.



12 Days Left to convince Santa that I really, truly would enjoy a man for Christmas. And the day after Christmas. And So on.


But seriously, what department do I need to communicate to Santa that I would like a real live man for Christmas? A fully employed man. A man with his stuff together. A non-Peter pan type man.


That’s what I want for Christmas. And a Red Rider BB Gun.


Please and thank you.






The Anti Elf on a Shelf

manifestos November 24, 2013

This morning, before Icemageddon hit the DFW metroplex, I ventured to Target (you really do have to pronounce it TARJAY if you are going to be my friend. )

I needed a big box of salt, heavy whipping cream, light bulbs (still can’t find the one I want), and a few odds and ends. You know, the way it goes at Target.

I found myself wandering through the books/cds/dvd area, when I saw it.

The bane of my existence  – post Thanksgiving and up until Christmas eve.

The damn Elf on a Shelf.

Stupid Elf on a Shelf

The Elf On A Shelf

Few thoughts on this dude.

1.) He has a creepy look. Seriously, he looks like he should be driving a cargo van and smells like Drakkar. I hate, hate, hate the Elf on the shelf.

2.) He costs, are you ready for this … $30. $30 bucks to dangle this thing in front of your kid to insure that they are being good during the last month prior to Christmas? $29.90? Holy crap, that blew me away. I thought it would be $10 bucks, max. AND Now, you can buy a “girl” version and for another $10 bucks you can buy her a skirt. Like this dude doesn’t look a little light in the loafers anyways? $40 dollars for a “lasting family tradition.”

3.) People that get into Elfing kinda scare me. I mean, there are women that create elaborate scenes each day. I can barely brush my hair each day, DON’T have any kids and yet, these women create ice rinks in the middle of their toilets for their little darlings to find each day.

4.) And what the hell happened to “you better be good, or Santa is going to bring you a big ole bunch of nothing?” Why does Santa need an elaborate communication with a slightly pervy looking elf to report back? Why do we need to negotiate with the terrorists, sic, children these days? I mean, we have letters, emails, videos to Santa, endless opportunities to message with the big guy, and now we need a creepy elf stalking you to ensure that you don’t act the total fool?


Stuff and Nonsense.

All of that being said, I bring you, Ezra the Elf.

Ezra, the Anti Elf on the Shelf.

Ezra, the Anti Elf on the Shelf.


According to Jewish teachings, Ezra means “helper.” I thought that would be the perfect name for my Anti-Elf on the Shelf helper.

Here is the plan:


When we get around to it this Holiday Season, you will see Ezra completing a variety of tasks.

There may or may not be pictures.

Most likely, Ezra will have a drinking problem.


I would like to point out a few things:


1.) Ezra doesn’t have a creepy face

2.) Ezra cost less than $4 bucks.

3.) Ezra looks jolly AND has his arms up to help. I don’t know where the Elf on the Shelfs arms have been. Seriously, that dude gives me the creeps.

As it is one month today from Christmas Eve, Ezra and I are plotting our version of world domination today with boozy beverages. Don’t judge. Santa doesn’t like prissy judges. Don’t make me have to launch Ezra on a “no judgey” campaign between now and the 25th of December.

To manage your expectations, Ezra isn’t going to be doing anything miraculous. It’s not how he rolls. He isn’t going to be changing the organization of my house. Who has time for that? Instead, Ezra will be here pointing out things, and generally finding mirth in this morning mimosa.

We’ve got to go get ready for Thanksgivikkuh. See you later.






Fractured Fairy Tale

random me November 21, 2013

If you read that in the past few months a woman had her house struck my lightning, lost her job, car died and roof leaks from an unknown source, would you suggest

a. this is a really bad Lifetime Movie and change the channel?

b. that woman is a sad sack of pathetic and should be put out of her misery?

c. surely she is soon to be rescued from this evil karma that surrounds her


Just wondering. For a friend


In lieu of a decent blog post today, I provide to you a video that suits my mood:

* warning, angry, pissed off music below. there is a lack of bleeping out expletives