Browsing Tag

baking

What not to eat if you are diabetic, or Rhubarb Cake.

feed me, things that will make you fat July 10, 2014

rhubarb, rhubarb cake

 

 

I’m going to put this out here right away- this is NOT a healthy, “clean” recipe. No where even close. In fact, it would be the opposite of clean based on the jello and mini marshmellows. Still with me? Good.

I was at dinner last night at my  friend Crystals and I brought her a few bags of Rhubarb. I scored a major case of it earlier this summer, chopped it up and froze for me and my northern friends. I probably need to tell you about Crystal before I go any further. One, she is an amazing cook. Two, she exercises like a freak show with four babies is in better shape than I ever hope to be in my life. Three, she eats clean.

ALL of that being said. she made for me her Grandmas Famous Upside Down Rhubarb Cake. This is so freaking delicious and not at all healthy. I mean, just plan on strapping on your running shoes, because you are going to have a hard time just eating one piece.

Instructions (more or less as I was hanging out with her kids while she was tossing this together)

Ingredients:

1 Box of White Cake Mix plus all the crap for the cake mix.

2 cups chopped rhubarb

1 box strawberry jello

few handfuls of mini marshmellows.

 

Ready for the incredibly complicated assembly?

Preheat your oven to the temp that your cake mix requires. (Crystal says 325 for 35-40 minutes ish)

Spray a 9*13 pan with whatever spray mix of choice

Toss the 2 c of rhubarb on the bottom of the pan

Sprinkle entire box of jello over rhubarb

Cover mixture with a layer of mini marshmellows.

Make cake mix according to directions.

Pour said cake mix over concoction

Toss in oven.

Set timer. Don’t go out to the pool and forget about the cake like we almost did.

Let cool.

Slice cake

Shove your face in the goodness.

If you are really into living on the edge, I could see that cool-whip would be rather sassy on top of this.

Enjoy.

 

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You’ll shoot your eye out

feed me, things that will make you fat December 13, 2013

Greetings & Salutations.

Every year, I throw a Cookie Exchange. The first year, I was a bit stringent about the rules- I required recipes, cookie vetting, and well, was a general cookie nazi about the whole thing. Over the years, I’ve mellowed out a bit, and this the 9th year, I’ve basically just shrugged my shoulders and said “if it’s going to happen, it will.” I’ve made some incredible cookies over the years, and some epic Pinterest fails. Let us never forget the tragic failure of the “melted snowman cookies” of 2011.

This year, I was inspired. I had a theme. I had a plan. I had a cookie recipe and a cookie cutter. I was going to be unstoppable.

The goal: Create amazing Leg Lamp Cookies with a simple butter cookie recipe.

The result: Not so amazing Leg Lamp Cookies with a damn delicious butter cookie recipe.

The issue: Said Leg Lamp Cookie Cutter is plastic. It’s a pain in the ass. I got a LOT of broken stumps of cookies, because the oh-so-delicious butter cookie recipe repeatedly got stuck in the Leg Lamp Cookie Cutter.

The dogs ate a lot of the broken cookies.

That being said, here is the recipe and the end results…

 

GRAMMY’S BUTTER COOKIE RECIPE

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2 cups flour
2 sticks butter (softened)
1/2 cup confectioners sugar
Combine all ingredients by hand; and then chill dough for 30 minutes.
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Roll out dough and cut with cookie cutters or cookie press.
Bake for 15 minutes at 350 degrees on an ungreased cookie sheet.  Bake until JUST lightly browned on edges.
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Here is the problem: the cookie cutter is plastic. Pain in the butt plastic. If you have a plastic cookie cutter, I STRONGLY recommend dipping it into flour before each cut.
The result:
Quite a few broken legs. As the classic movie would suggest, these were FRA-GILE… Yes, the Italian girl made them.
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My Obsession : Pumpkin Puree (or Pumpkin Brownies)

feed me, things that will make you fat October 28, 2013

You should know that I tend to go overboard when I fall in love with something. A man, a project, an ingredients. All these things tend to consume me for a while. Lately, I’ve been obsessed with finding a tasty Pumpkin Brownie recipe that didn’t suck. There are a ton of lazy three ingredient pumpkin brownie recipes out there, but frankly, they creep me out. I don’t try to make vegan food. I think gluten has it’s place in a lot of recipes. Pumpkin Brownies AHOY!

This obsession really started when I found 10 cans of Pumpkin Puree on sale at Kroger for less than $10.00. My economy being what it is, I took this as a sign from above that I needed to dabble in the Pumpkin Arts. (Wow, the caffiene is kicking in this morning). Dabble in the pumpkin arts? Who says that?

Pumpkin Puree for Recipes

Pumpkin Puree

My goal was simple: Make a pumpkin infused brownie that didn’t suck.

I present to you what I’ve managed to concoct.

Pumpkin Brownies

Serves 18 (or more if you are healthy, or less if you are a fatty)

Pre-Heat oven to 350

Ingredients:

Ingredients for Pumpkin Brownies

 

For the Brownies:

1 Box Brownie Mix (why go through the trouble of making scratch?)

All of the required stuff for brownies

For the Swirl:

3 Oz of softened cream cheese. (Seriously, make sure it’s softened)

Half can of Pumpkin Puree (15 oz can) . Do NOT use Pumpkin Pie filling.

1 egg

1/4 tsb nutmeg

1.5 tsb of cinnamon

3 TBL sugar

 

Ok- grab a 9* 13 brownie pan. Spray with your non-stick spray of choice. Set aside.

In one bowl, do up the brownies as per recipe.

Brownie Mix

 

In another bowl (or stand mixer bowl) add all of the filling ingredients:

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With a wisk attachment, blend filling ingredients together until smooth.

Pour brownie batter in prepared pan

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Take a tablespoon and drop the filling mix over the top

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Take a knife and pull through filling mix, to create a marbled effect.

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Toss in the oven for about 30-38 minutes. You will need to test to make sure the brownies and mix are completely cooked through.

 

Voila…. marbly, pumpkiny brownies. Let cool completely before cutting. I would strongly recommend keeping these puppies refridgerated if you don’t eat them all right away.

 

Craptastical Pumpkin Brownies

Craptastical Pumpkin Brownies

 

Chicken Pot Pie (and roast chicken)

things that will make you fat October 24, 2013

On Tuesday, I decided to roast a chicken. You know, a basic roasted chicken.

Being me, I decided that I needed to play with it a little bit. I took the bird (bought at the Mexican Meat market for $3.00), loaded the inner cavity with lemons and garlic, gave it a healthy coat of salt, pepper and olive oil, and threw in a roaster that had been lined with sliced onions. Easy peasy. Cook at 425 for about an hour (or the juices run clear.) House smelled delicious, and it was gorgeous.

chicky

Ok, now that I have the chicken, what was I going to do with it?

 

Chicken Pot Pie was the only answer. Seriously. I’ve been craving it for weeks. Not just a frozen pot pie (although I do have a few in the freezer now, but a real home-made pot pie.

 

It starts with the crust. I like my crusts flakey (as one would say I like my men). I used a basic Pate Brisee recipe that I learned in school. Lots of cold, cold butter. Ice water. Flour. Salt. Sugar. Instructions to follow.

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The key to a good pie crust- work fast, use cold, cold ingredients and don’t putz around with it too much. The more you work the dough, the tougher it will be.

 

  • 2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour, plus extra for rolling
  • 1 cup (2 sticks or 8 ounces) unsalted butter, very-cold, cut into 1/2 inch cubes. I keep the butter chilled to the moment it goes in the processor.
  • 1 teaspoon salt (kosher, of course)
  • 1 teaspoon sugar
  • 6 to 8 Tbsp ice water (literally ice water, with cubes. keep it cold)

 

Combine flour, salt, and sugar in a food processor; pulse to mix. Add butter and pulse 6 to 8 times, until mixture resembles coarse meal, with pea size pieces of butter. Add ice water 1 Tbsp at a time, pulsing until mixture just begins to clump together. If you pinch some of the crumbly dough and it holds together, it’s ready. Do not over water.

Take the dough and knead it into a quick roundish mound. Split in half, form into two equal sized disks, wrap in plastic wrap and toss into the fridge for at least an hour. The dough needs to be chilled.

When ready, make sure you bring out to room temp for about 5 minutes before you start working the dough again.

Roll it out, throw in oven for 20-25 minutes, or once the top gets golden brown. You can use an egg wash, but you don’t have to. This recipe will make on total pie (top & bottom) , 2 tops or 6 mini pie tops. If you are using this recipe for a full sized pie- cover the edges in foil for the first 10-15 minutes. This will prohibit them from burning.

 

Ok- whew. That was a long diatribe on the crust without even getting to the darn pot pie.

Ingredients for pot pie (Or so I fashioned)

Chicken (cooked, cut up)- about 1.5 cups (or more)

Frozen Mixed Veggies- 1 bag

1.5 c of cut, cooked potatoes

can of peas

stick of butter (use to your health comfort)

1/2 c of flour

fresh thyme

onion

celery

2.5 C of Chicken Broth. I used boullion, but you can use the box stuff if you want.

1 C of milk

salt, pepper and garlic

 

Ok- so here we go:

 

1.) Chop onion and celery and garlic into small bite sized pieces

2.) In a dutch oven melt 2 tbl of butter and 1 quick splash of olive oil. Heat up.

3.) Toss onion/celery in oven and let cook for about 5 minutes, or until onions are soften. Pepper your mix at this point.

4.) Add in bag of frozen veggies to mix, and stir until all thawed

5.) Toss in potatoes and mix (don’t stir too hard, or your ‘taters will break.

6.) Add 3-4 more tbl of butter and let melt all the way.

7.) Add 1/2 cup of flour and stir until all mixed in.

8.) Pour in broth, then mix and let thicken (about 10 minutes)

9.) Add in chicken and peas

10.) Let simmer. Add herbs and spices to taste

11.) Turn off heat and let thicken a bit more-5-10 minutes. This will also let it cool down a bit before putting in pie tins.

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Let this cool another few minutes before putting the pie cover on. However, this is the time, for you to set the filled pie plates aside and start rolling out your tops. Reserve one mini pie plate to use as template.

Preheat the oven to 375.

Pull dough out of fridge and set on counter for five minutes. Sprinkle flour on countertop and quickly roll out. DO NOT WORK DOUGH TOO MUCH. Use the pie plate as your guide to cut. Leave an extra 1.5 inches around for the “fold over”

Fill your pies.

Cover them with dough

Take an egg and a tbl of water and create a quick egg wash. Cover tops of pies.

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Bake for 25-30 minutes, or until pie tops are golden.

Truthfully, I forgot to take a picture of the final pie. But I assure you, it was delicious.

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Enjoy.

 

 

 

PUPkin Dog Treats

feed me, things that will make you less fat October 21, 2013

It has been said that my dogs are rather spoiled.

I can’t disagree.

 

Last night, I made them Halloween Themed Dog Treats. First reason primairly because I was bored, and my butt didn’t need the triple chocolate brownies that I really wanted to make. Second reason, I’m less than flush with cash right now and I needed bribes.

With all of that being said, I present to you:

 

PUP-kin Pup Treats

-for the dog that needs more treats

 

Dog Treats for Halloween

PupKins

 

Ingredients:

1/2 can of Pumpkin Puree. Don’t use the Pumpkin Pie stuff. No need. Seriously, don’t waste your money.

1/4 tsp of salt (Incredibly optional- truthfully, I forgot it.)

2 eggs

2 TBL of Peanut Butter (any kind will do- my labs got Crunchy)

2.5 C of Flour

1/4 of water- hold off to the side.

 

DIRECTIONS:
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
2. With a mixer, or kitchen aid with paddle attachment, mix together the flour, eggs, pumpkin, peanut butter, salt, and cinnamon. THEN, start adding in water a little at a time. You do NOT want this to be too wet. It will be a pain to roll out.

3. Take the dough, throw it on the counter and get rolling. I did a mixture of thick cookies for the big dog and smaller ones for the less fat dog.  You will get about 30-35 cookies from this. Don’t waste the dough-you can re-roll it MANY MANY TIMES.

3. Bake in preheated oven until hard, about 40 minutes. I had two cookie sheets filled with treats so I rotated the sheets at the 20 minute mark.

 

Bark Appetite!