Over the weekend, I was invited to go on a pontoon in Austin in a few weeks.

Yay fun, right?

Reality sunk in: My sizable body will have to don a swim suit of some kind, and expose many, many bits of flesh to the world that otherwise, I like to keep well covered under layers of clothing.

I woke up this morning, and thought “this is it, this is the day that I’m going to get out of bed, walk a few miles and dominate this fluffy body of mine.”

Instead, I grabbed a protein shake and tried to plank for 20 seconds.

Gravity isn’t kind dear readers. Gravity, she is a bitch.

I decided that if I can’t drag myself to do necessary cardio each morning, I’m going to control what goes into my food hole.

This week, I’m going to make this pasta salad so I can cure my bathing suit drama: