Tomorrow i will post some nonsense about the american electoral process and our ability to vote, and blah blah, democracy, but today, I would like to talk about a topic that’s slightly higher in importance to me right now.

snacks_sign_485

Snacks.

I’m thankful (grato, if you speak Italian) for delicious snacks that make me less evil throughout the course of the day.

Perhaps our political system would be less twisted if they ate more snacks.

Perhaps nearly elected officials would gain more supporters if they ate a snickers, hauled the stick out their butt and smiled for real.

Back to topic at hand, thankful for snacks. I believe the world would be a sweeter place if you took a beat, shoved some food in your mouth for a moment and thought before you talked (or emailed, or texted, or facebook messaged.) Whereas, I might not have all the answers, might I suggest trying one of these options to reduce bitchiness?

 

  • Goldfish Crackers (perfectly sized, salty and non messy)
  • Apples (sliced, not pealed)
  • String Cheese (random trivia- i never tried string cheese until i was in my 20’s. My life changed)
  • Bit ‘o chocolate (duh, the darker the better.)
  • freshly carved lunch meat with thinly sliced cheese (currently on a roast beef/swiss cheese kick)
  • Big ole kosher dill

 

Perhaps this is why my ass is large. Perhaps, I eat like a toddler, but I am rarely an asshole, nor a deviant politician. I snack, therefore, I am less awful.

When I don’t snack, I am bitchy, grouchy and diva like. Within seconds of snacking, I’m nicer to be around.

It was recently suggested that I have Aretha moments when I don’t eat …

At the end of the day, we could all use a momentary time out. We go, go, go and don’t take care of our basic needs. If we are hungry, we act out. We behave less than. My suggestion that might solve for world peace? EAT A FREAKING SNACK.The_fonz_thumbs_up

 

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