40 Days Of Being AWESOME

random me March 1, 2017

I find it interesting that today, March 1st, is not only the first day of Lent but it is also the beginning of my birthday month.

the 2017 travel bucket list

manifestos February 1, 2017

As I lay so ever delicately in bed, coughing up a lung, I am using my imagination to figure out the places I want to go check out in 2017. I present to you, with little ado, my “2017 Travel Bucket List.”

2017: I’m going to Pollyanna the HELL OUT OF THIS YEAR

manifestos January 1, 2017

Greetings from the bedroom on Lavender Lane on this fine first day of 2017.

I can say with almost complete certainty that 2016 was an absolute #shitshow.

The Oven That Needed Cleaning

craft me, pinterest successes November 19, 2013

Go forth and clean your oven. Your turkey will thank you.

Wanderings of the whine type. Or is that wine? I’m unsure

rants June 28, 2017

At the tone, the time will be some minutes past the 7 O’clock morning hour. I’m rocking a Mrs. Roper and I’m trying to collect myself for the day.

I’m having a craptastical RA week. My hands ache. My shoulder aches. My ankles are swollen. I’m chewing all of the meds and nothing seems to touch it. I just feel like someone beat the crap out of me with a baseball bat (beat on the brat, beat on the brat). I know this will pass, but holy shit, I was unprepared for what I’m guessing is my second recognizable flare. The first one was right after my birthday, and I could barely use my arms to hook my bra. BTW- wearing a bra is not an option. It’s a life requirement. This one started on Sunday. I woke up feeling off, and when I got home from a delicious overnight trip with some girlfriends, I felt as if I was getting sick in a way. I powered through, hung out with another friend, but knew something was off.

Monday, I was exhausted and noticed a decrease in flexibility in all my joints. The million dollar ankle felt off. My wrists felt weary. I worked a fair amount of hours on Monday, and just pushed through, taking the allocated meds, and hoped for the best.

Yesterday, was not the best. At all. We are just going to leave it at that. It was a long day that ended up with me crying in my car at 11 pm when it was almost impossible for me to be able to do a very basic function.

Today feels less shitty. It’s early yet. I was able to hoist the girls into a boobie basket and hook it (thank you baby Cheesus.) It doesn’t feel great to type, but again, that’s a job requirement. Can’t really navigate around it. My job is a typing job. Siri isn’t quite ready for me. I’ll make this work. I always do.

This isn’t an attention grab, I promise, but more of an explanation as to why I sound so fucking tired when we (the collective) talk on the phone, or daresay, borderline bitchy. I’m trying. I really am. Just give me a day or so. I think it will pass. Screw that, I know it will pass. It has to, right?

In other news, it’s almost the Patriotic holidays. Canada Day and then 4th of July. I shall have country appropriate soundtracks – Canada (BNL/Alanis/Rush?) and ‘Merica (Boston, Kansas, Neil Diamond perhaps?). I shall make appropriate treats to celebrate- Nanaimo bars and Apple Pie. On Saturday, I shall don my tackiest Roots clothing and on Tuesday, I will wear the red rocket pants and possibly something with sequins. Because, you know, ‘Merica. I shall drink both the Tim Hortons AND I don’t know, something American. Like, um, kool-aid? Hell if I know.

Ok… so because this post is literally all over the place (due to stopping three times to make the evil pup STOP what he is doing), I have a question to ask.

Do you love or hate Bruce Springsteens music. I feel like this is a very black and white question. It’s either yes or no. I have my answer, but I’d love for you to let me know how you feel.

 

deflecting or delaying

manifestos June 15, 2017

To be clear, I’m writing this right now to try to get a song out of my head. Yes, the walking human iPod from hell has struck again. For the past two hours, while I read a great book, I’ve been humming

why i’m single

manifestos June 10, 2017

So, the phrase “why I’m single” was texted to me, not about me, earlier this week.

Context: a snapshot of a text exchange between the texter and a person that had exchanged numbers with the texter at some earlier point. It was not a good text exchange. We’ve all had it. You give/get someones number- perhaps in the moment it seemed like a good idea, but the next day/week/month, you stare at your phone and wonder “why the hell did I do that, or rather, who the hell is this?”

Been there. Done that.

It got me to wondering, “why am I single?”

Why the hell AM I single?

If you asked some of my friends, they would say I’m too picky. Others would say that I’m too lazy. Others might say that I’m ambivalent about finding the whole happily ever after.

I’ve been in love. I thought I might have had a shot at the happily every. It didn’t work out quite as expected (obviously, otherwise, why would I be writing this particular crapifesto?) Despite being in love at least thrice, I sit here, jetting my way towards the land of Prince, lamenting my own particular spinster singlehood.

Side note, a few rows in front of me, I just saw the sweetest action – a guy just helped his lady friend readjust her neck pillow. You could see his genuine desire to make sure she was comfortable and happy. That is awesome. They don’t necessarily match- she is about 5 inches taller than him, different races, but man, do they grin when they look at each other.

SECOND SIDE NOTE: WHO THE FUCK BRINGS FRIED CHICKEN ON A 6:35am FLIGHT? For the love of all that is good and holy, early morning is not the time to eat fried chicken and corn nuts on a plane.

Back to the point of this, if there is one. Why am I single?

Is it because I’m old?

Is it because I have a mouth of a dirty drunken pirate hooker?

Is it because I obsess daily about random offbeat songs that I hear/pop in my head?

Is it because I’m easily distracted?

Is it because my ass and boobs are out of control?

Is it because I’ve somehow ended up living in the middle of the suburbs surrounded by married people and families with VERY few ACTUAL AVAILABLE,  datable men in the mix?

Or is it just because I’ve not yet found the right one for right now? (I’m leaning towards this option.)

Note: I’m very focused right now on writing this and chewing gum. We are starting the initial descent, and I’m only 40% sure my ears might explode. The pressure is getting really really obnoxious.

Man, the flow of this particular entry is incredible isn’t it?

I have a laissez faire approach to dating/finding “Mr. Doesn’t Suck too Hard”. Either it will or won’t happen, but I’m not going to kill myself in an effort to make it happen. Maybe that is why I’m single?

Who knows.

Right now, I’m more focused on getting away, on a jet plane, and making it without my ears exploding!

……………..

Flight one done. No issues. There is hope!

 

 

 

quite the quiet day

manifestos June 4, 2017

Sticking to a semi-regular weekly blog posting schedule has allowed me to sort out my thoughts in a way that I’ve lost track of over the week. Throughout the day, I’ll think “oh, I should write about this,” and then forget what I was thinking about.

Hell, these days I am forgetting more than I remember. This little reality is especially obnoxious for me as I historically forget NOTHING, and yet, I can’t remember who I spoke to on Friday night.

Today is a quiet day here at the house. I’ve been reading the news, listening to Theresa May’s condemnation of the terror incident last night in London and reviewing other leaders responses- some more measured than others.

I’ve been puttering around while listening to the Sunday shows, trying to make sense out of what is happening.

Bottom line, I’m out of words today. I had words and forgot some of them. The other portion of words that I remember, feel ill-timed in light of what is happening in this world. Navel gazing and pontificating is a special skill of mine, but today it just feels petty.

Go forth and do what you need to do today. Be aware, be kind and be a part of the solution.

If all else fails- go clean something.

Tuesday Trifling Thoughts

rants May 30, 2017

Do you ever just wake up in a weird, off, not right mood?

That was me today. I have zero reasons to be snarky before 9 am. First of all, I’m off today. I have a whole day to do “me things”. Secondly,  I have a list of things I want to do. Instead of being excited about these things, I woke up like a grumpy petulant child who probably needed to go back to sleep for 7 more hours.

Odd really.

Thought #1I think I blame the internet. Ya, that’s the ticket. I blame the internet. I woke up, checked in on all the things and saw that our President of these glorious United States is snarking on Germany again. On Twitter. I just shake my head. I’ve gotten bitched at for being snarky on social media and I barely lead a team, much less the damn Free World. How is this OK? Why hasn’t anyone taken away his Twitter account? Why is he allowed to drop thinly veiled threats? Why is he still trying to make the news the enemy? I don’t get it. And frankly, I’m disappointed in Twitter. They have shut down other accounts for less threatening/bullying, and yet, they allow the President to act like a shitty teenager? Clearly, money is more important than creating a platform that has consistent rules for all users.

Thought #2

I don’t know how to take a real day off. Today, I took the day off to get my life together. I work from home so often times I don’t pay attention to the DMZ that my house has become. Sure, I went out of town this weekend, but some days you just need to take a day and do things. It’s annoying to me that I feel guilty about taking a day off. Truthfully, I’ve already checked emails, put out one fire and made sure all of my campaigns are healthy. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? Why can’t I just unplug fully?

Thought #3

I need to cook all of the food this week. I’m headed onto the wagon until I fly north to the BIS. I’m going to eat clean, rebuild my liver, and hope for the best. I have a very specific weight loss goal with a very specific dangling carrot if I lose said weight. Might I dig deep inside me and exercise a small modicum of self-control? Is this even possible? DO I EVEN HAVE ANY SELF CONTROL?

Actually, yes, I do.

I have more self-control than many even can comprehend.

Do you know how many thoughts I leave unspoken?

Do you know how many incredibly inappropriate things I don’t do?

Do you know how many times I’ve wanted to sit in a meeting and just give the single digit salute?

But I don’t. I have self-control. I just need to extend this to my food and mouth.

Actually, my mouth needs to learn a lot of self-control.

I need to speak less.

I need to eat less.

I need to snark less.

I need to get off the damn computer before I start actually saying ALL OF THE THINGS I’m THINKING.

I’m going to go chop fruit, dig dirt and do stuff.

Be good today on this Tuesday. Don’t be a stupid Tweeter.