Ok, maybe not so much. it’s morning. it’s dark outside. I’m less crabby than I was yesterday. I slept for 5 glorious hours last night. I have a hot lunch date today with a friend and her glorious little baby. I’m going to eat SCHWARMA. Chicken glorious shwarma. Side note, I am moderately concerned about my level of excitement for Chicken Schwarma at 5am, but whatever.
Last night, as I was falling asleep, I was crafting the perfect blog post in my head. I was just tired enough not to get up and write it down, but man, it was eloquent. I was reflecting on the past 10 months and had some thoughts. Some intense, deep thoughts. Five hours later, they are literally gone with the wind.
Here is the gist of my late night musings- This year has been a year filled with change, interesting life choices and declarations of independence. I’ve had one hellacious surgery and getting ready to have another on Friday. I’ve spent more of my year in the boot than I’ve not and finally I’m going to address this issue. I have significantly fewer sinus infections post surgery than I’ve had in about 8 years, and for that I’m thankful. Now perhaps I can get back to the business of living once healed?
As I listen to Old Crow Music Show “Wagon Wheel”, I realize that this year hasn’t been “that bad.” Work has been steady, I’ve been able to pay for all of the things I’ve needed. I’ve done some work to the house and am getting ready to do a bit more. My yard is a mess, but whatever. I’ll get to that next year. I’ve gotten to go on a few adventures, one big road trip, and a few getaways to Austin. Next year, I’m going to branch out and hit the road a bit more. Marfa, Colorado, New Mexico and Port A are on my list of upcoming 2017 trips.
I’ve become a bit more selfish this year. I’m actually ok with that. I’ve grown up watching people live a life of partial martyrdom and frankly, I don’t want to go to the grave wondering “what-if?” If I want to go some place, I will go. If I want to eat something, I will. If I want that big shiny toy on the top shelf, I’m probably going to climb up and grab it. I’ve become selfish with my time. I’m less likely to spend hours dedicated to doing stuff that doesn’t bring me happiness. I’m even less likely going to spend any time doing stuff that doesn’t resonate with me.
Here is what I know to be true:
At some point on Friday, I’m going to have surgery that will repair about 20 years of damage done to my right ankle. I’m going to be stuck at home for a while, and that’s ok. I’m going to heal, try not to whack Georgie with my crutch, and hit PT with a vengeance. I want to do the 5.7 miles Great Turtle Trail run next fall. I want to join a paddle club next summer. I just want to move. I want to do. I want to fish and be outside. Holy shit, if I spend one more spring/summer either in a boot or in pain, I might just hack off this ankle and be done with it.
I’m absolutely over it being warm. Yesterday my air-conditioning kicked on and this overwhelming fit of rage took over me and I wanted to punch someone. One should NOT have to use their A/C at the end of October.
I need to write more. Professionally, personally, commercially. I love to write and I’ve gotten so very lazy.
I need to start working on my exterior illumination plan for the upcoming holidays.
It’s time for some action and some changes. I’m chuckling about the last sentence because I’m literally going to be stuck in bed for what might feel like forever starting on Friday, but MAN, will I have some plans.
I will strive not to be an asshole. This is a big one, but it’s worthwhile. While many are trying to climb the social ladders, to be leaders, to be everything to everyone, I just want to be less of an asshole, more of a decent person. That means that despite the whole “selfish” manifesto above, I need to think about impact. I need to make sure I’m not purposely being an asshole whenever possible. I mean, it’s probably going to happen, but let’s make Kate great again…
AND THAT BRINGS ME TO MY FINAL EFFING POINT.
I swear to Jesus, if I hear you bitching about the results of the election and find out that you didn’t vote because you didn’t like either candidate, I’m going to stick you in a crate with George. Seriously.
As I discussed with my friend Leslie the other evening, it’s probably going to be good that I’m locked up in my house between now and election day. I just want it to be over. I’m only going to watch West Wing and Romantic Comedies. And Football. And maybe some cartoons. BUT I’m OVER IT.
Be a fucking grown up, weigh out your options and go vote. Vote in your local elections, vote at the state level and for the love of all that is good and holy VOTE FOR PRESIDENT. Now, if you know me, you should know who I’m voting for. But I won’t try to sway you or anything. Let’s just say I’m off creamsicles for the near future and have a weird desire to listen to Janet Jackson. I know that some of you don’t agree with me and that’s ok. I mean, I’ll still break bread with you after this is all over. And probably drink some wine. Or some vodka. Let’s just put this behind us and move on. Hopefully. I have hope.