No, make that 2016.
I don’t even know what day it is/was/going to be.
Here is what I do know to be true. I, Kate Elizabeth, Ruler of the Craptastical Kingdom, hereby declare myself BANNED from Amazon Prime One Click Shopping.
I did it again. And again, and Again. I’ve done it before, and ended up with a super luxurious faux fur blanket (read about it here) , and welp, I need to compose myself before I list what I purchased in the past 10 days.
Note to all: Pain pills, a dash of alcohol and mind-numbing boredom from Das Boot end up in a stack of items from the ‘Zon unlike any other.
Therefore, by the grace of my debit card, for the betterment of my checking account, and/or credit score, I have detached one click shopping from my phone(s), laptop(s), iPad, tablet, and tv. NO MORE. FOR THE LOVE. NO MORE.
I just looked at my Amazon orders for 2015- 95 orders. 95. WHAT THE BLOODY HELL did I need 95 orders worth of things?
Oh yes. Let me tell you.
I ordered Step Brothers. The digital download.
I ordered black denim jeggings. Please judge me.
I ordered 12 cans of green beans.
I used Amazon Prime now to deliver a box of gold fish crackers and diet coke, because I am a lazy ho.
I ordered a 12 inch snowman glitter ornament. Two nights ago.
I ordered leopard print treat bags.
I ordered 45 packs of post it notes.
PEOPLE- these are the high/low lights. I don’t even know. A floral potty training bell?
I love Amazon so, because it enables me to buy crap I didn’t know I needed and without leaving the house. When they start wine/booze delivery, I’m 110% hosed.
ps. my foot hurts
pss. i need to get out of the boot and working out, otherwise, I’m going to fulfill the prophecy that is this post