I’ve been a little antsy of late. Work is steady (which is lovely), house is pretty much clean, dogs are healthy, but despite all of these things, I still have been on edge more so than not.
It’s a strange feeling of unease that fills my days. I’m constantly reviewing my checking account, making sure that I stay above the positive mark. I’m constantly eyeballing Gus, my big bundle of Labrador love, to make sure that he is healthy and content. I can’t put my finger on what causes this constant feeling that the other shoe is going to drop. History tells me that it will, and I just need to be prepared.
Be prepared. What an overwhelming thought. I try to stay ahead of the curve- have a $100 dollar bill stashed away for emergencies, always have dog food backed up so as to feed the pups, and I try my best to keep a decent pantry. I have health insurance, home owners insurance, car insurance and a small life policy. Despite all of these best practices, I tend not to feel prepared for what is ahead.
All of this being said, I do take moments to just “be.” Last night, I took the dogs to the dog park for a quick energy drain. Despite the fact that my backyard is honestly dog park sized, something about taking my two shed monsters to the dog park just wears their butts out. LOVE IT. I love sitting there, with a roadie cup of something stronger than Diet Coke, watching my dogs run around like idiots.
I love waking up before anyone else in my world is up. I love the feeling of quiet productivity I get in the mornings- reviewing the constant email pile, running through my real mail, straightening up my kitchen and sweeping the house. These simple actions prepares me for the day.
Yesterday, I got the brilliant idea to remove the slip strips off the bottom of my 60 year old tub. Not really realizing what kind of project I was starting, it turned out to be quite a task. Removing the strips, easy peasy. Removing the years of gunk attached to the adhesive, oh that’s another story. Turns out a combination of bleach, vinegar (not at the same time), Mr. Clean Magic Eraser and Barkeepers friend finally gets the job done. Oh, and a strong dose of elbow grease. This morning, at 6am, I was on my knees scrubbing the living crap out of my tub, and felt the strangest burst of satisfaction when I realized I had a clean, smooth tub surface. Oh, the little things.
I love the sense of satisfaction I get when I hang clothes out on the laundry line. It feels (and looks) so amazing to see clothes drying in the breeze.
I love settling down with a trashy romance novel and losing myself in a book for hours on end.
Most importantly, the thing that has created the greatest sense of calm this week is setting boundaries. Boundaries between me and my clients. Saying no to an opportunity that just didn’t feel right. Saying yes to a new project that is going to push me professionally, and help me move forward in my career.
I feel the urge to create something this week. Maybe I’ll paint something. Maybe I’ll pick up the knitting needles. Maybe I’ll work on my slightly profane cross stitch project. I love having options. I love keeping busy. I love the self inflicted silence that comes when I’m working on something.
None of these things I’ve mentioned are major game changers. I’m not launching a political initiative that is going to change society as we know it. I’m not changing the market place in which I professionally exist. These are all little things. Little moments of good.
I need to keep focusing on the little things and stop dwelling on when the other shoe is going to drop.
What little things make you happy?