Happy 2015 everyone!

Yes, I know that I’m a bit late to the party, but I’ve been busy working on the stuff that pays my bills, working on the stuff to make me less fat and working on the stuff to help me find some zen.

Speaking of zen, I’ve been STRUGGLING to find it lately. Woo daddy, I’ve been a walking pile of stress, nerves and bitchery. I need to do more yoga and cut down even more the diet coke consumption, which btw, is at an all time low (2 a day BABY!).

Because I’ve been busy, I’ve been having a hard time finding tolerance for a lot of things. Dumbasses top my list of things that annoy me. The inability to critically think and make a decision on your own without taking it to committee vies at the top of the list as well. The toxic shit that we spew on Social Media (all caps) is really at the pinnacle.

Toxic shit? What could i possibly be talking about.

Well, grab a cup of whatever makes you happy and come on in closer for me to fill you in on what has been bothering me about social media.

Over the past year, I’ve been on a mission to “keep it real” on social. I don’t paint a pretty picture of my life. Instead I share the funny, the silly, the “oh crap my underwire just exploded in the middle of home depot” kinda stories. I like reading about peoples lives, not see perfectly filtered portraits of what you want people to see. I find that level of control exhausting and really a cue that perhaps you should go see a shrink to figure out why you must paint everything with a pink hue. I digress however, and need to get back to my point.

I’m tired of the degradation of real conversations. I’m tired of finding out critical life events of people that I had up to that moment thought were in my close circle only then to find out about a significant life thing through the blue and white walls of fucking Zuckerberg.

I’m tired of vague booking. I’m tired of the “oh, send some good thoughts we are dealing with something.” Oh come on, either tell me that you have an infected toe nail or don’t post about it in a vague way. Instead pick up your damn phone, call your  closest people and deal with it that way. It’s hard for me to say this, but not every thought needs to be shared via Facebook/Twitter/Instastuff…

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate social media. I love a lot of aspects to it. I love the fact that I can keep up with the goings on of people across the country. I love seeing social media campaigns for good. I love that I can share my random thoughts and ode to Lionel Ritchie for the whole world to see.  I love that I get too ooh and ahh over funny pictures of kids.

I’m just tired of the bullshit.

Let’s pause here for a moment and I feel a clarification might be necessary. I don’t think that the bullshit in which I am railing against is strictly limited to social media. In fact, I think I’m just tired in general. At the age of 37 10/12ths, I am tired.

I’m tired of the work that just keeps wearing me down. I feel like I’m starring in my own version of Groundhog Day.

I’m tired of not always feeling good. Last year, and the year before, and the year before that, were shitty, health wise. I want to get back to healthy. I want to feel like I felt 6 years ago. I want to be running, working out, and not feeling like my head was/is going to explode. Literally.

I’m tired of having to fight very hard for every single thing. EVERY SINGLE THING.

I’m also exhausted of having to explain myself over and over and over and over. I’m pretty direct. I don’t mince words. I shouldn’t have to reiterate something because the receiver of my message doesn’t like the answer.

Well, this post took a slightly bitter turn didn’t it?

It’s not fair to say that everything sucks. That would be a lie and not at all the picture I’m trying to paint. I’m just worn out. I’m tired and I want a break. I don’t need a bunch of “oh, I’m busy too shit.” This isn’t a competition. We are all tired. We are all busy. We are all working hard.

I want to win the lotto.

I want to win the lotto, cash it in and have it paid out in quarters and swim around in that shit like Scrooge Mc Duck.

In conclusion, it’s probably better if people just ignore me until mid March. Or just let me nap.

I just want to be surrounded by good energy. Positive energy. Naps. Lots of naps. Swimming pools filled with quarters. Chocolate that won’t make my ass any bigger.