Dear Body,

You’ve been feeling funky all day. Weird headache. Weird stomach. Not bad, just not awesome. Not sick. Not rockstar. Didn’t even drink last night, so that is just even more obnoxious.

I’m going to go to bed soon and assume that by the time I wake up at what, 3am, I will be feeling like Gwyneth Paltrow feels after a good yoga class.

Things I am thankful for today:

1.) Finding an old Gourds CD. Oh the memories of Austin, being young and mostly drunk. Good times, good times.


2.) I am thankful that I have the basic skills to assemble what might be the cheapest vacuum in the history of vacuums. Until this morning, I did not own a vacuum. The amazing human who keeps my house in order brings her vacuum every two weeks and makes everything sparkle. Given the recent economic downturn on Lavender Lane, I had to say “see you soon” to my miracle worker, and have been faced with cleaning the house. I realized earlier this week that I had chucked my vacuum due to an abundance of Gus hair in the winter and never replaced it. Sigh. 30 bucks later, one Phillips screw driver and I am in business.


3.) Carbs. All the carbs. I love the carbs. I literally COULD live on bread alone. Or pita. Or croissant. Or chips. Or tortillas. You get the point. Dear sweet baby bread, I do love you so.

Thats all for now. It’s 6:32, I need to figure out why the Dog Jeffersons are losing their minds outside, and I’m going to bed.

Tomorrow is a new, glorious day. Be awesome. I will do my best not to be a snarky ho.