Occasionally, I remember that I am indeed a grown woman. The moments are mostly few and far between, but occasionally, being adult smacks me in the face and says “WAKE UP WOMAN… GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER.”

Technically, I do have my shit together. I own a house, a car and care for a living creature. We will gloss over the fact that my living creature is a semi-autistic rescued dog who is afraid of everything except squirrels. Instead I will focus on the fact that I typically pay my bills on time (when I remember), have a bit of money tucked away, and am the bossypants at my little company.

In a perfect world, I would live in a magical place where all of the stuff was taken care of and I could just spend my day reading books and floating in a pool. Given that I’ve yet to figure out how to make that particular fantasy happen, I must go about the business of adulting.

I woke up at 5:30 this morning, did about 22 minutes of the crazy Tracy Anderson torture DVD, tossed in the final load of laundry, kicked off the dishwasher and decided to check work emails. STUPID STUPID STUPID. Within seconds, my zen from the work out was replaced with a fury unlike any other. I zipped off a few emails that hopefully someone on this planet will read and tried to take a nice calm shower. This is the point that has me laughing. In my head, an adult would make sure that a.) the shower curtain is placed appropriately so that one does not flood the bathroom, and b.) that you put the soap that YOU JUST BOUGHT YESTERDAY in the shower. Nope, I failed both. I ended up flooding my bathroom floor and almost busted it trying to reach to the sink to grab a box of Dove. Sigh. Please tell me that someone else in this world does dumbass things like this? Am I really that useless?

No, I’m not useless, but I am just so very distracted. My brain is like an overflowing junk drawer these days that I just keep tossing random items in. I’ve been so very distracted the last few days that if one were to see me, that would wonder if I got into a fight- bruises on my hip and butt, cuts on my arms and fingers, a huge knot on my head. I am technically a functioning adult, but clearly need some lessons in grace and walking. My brain is full. My body is paying the price for the ongoing circus in my head. Being an adult is, in my opinion, hard.

I’m distracted because I know that in 9 days I am heading out on vacation. In order not to be a total spaz on said vacation, I need to get ALL of the work done prior to me leaving. Three consulting projects need to be tidied up, regular work needs to get under control and quick (see aboves reference to email of fury), and I need to make a list of all of the things that I need to take on said trip so I don’t spend a stupid amount of money on the road buying mission critical things like underwear and contacts. (Note to self, order contacts this week.) Oh yes, please pay the bills too.

I’m distracted because things are just somewhat busy. I might have taken on too many things this summer, and well, it’s more or less biting me in the butt. Today, I shall power through the mess. Today I shall be the adult that remembers to buy the FREAKING HOSE AND NOZZLE THAT YOU HAVE BEEN TRYING TO BUY SINCE FRIDAY NIGHT. (Distracted brain at it’s finest.) Today I will remember to pay the water bill. Today I will send the consulting update that I should have written yesterday, but instead reading Judy Blumes latest was so much more attractive. Today I will keep my phones charged. Today I will remember to send the bank the tax stuff they asked for. Today I will send out a Katifesto to my council and set them up for success. (As I type this, I remember that I need to take care of an email situation…)

I should also admit that I just came back to this after a 20 minute break in which I was sidelined by my washing machine making the weirdest noise. Again, distracted. Again, adulting is hard.

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Somedays I just want to call my mom and say “please come organize me.” Ugh. Then I remember what that entails. Somedays I just want to crawl in bed for a while and come out to a perfectly ordered life, but again, this is not TV, nor do I have a relationship with a Fairy Godmother (although that would be pretty awesome.)

I wrap this up with hope. Hope that this turns out to be an awesome week. Hope that this turns out to be productive. And as God is my witness, if I don’t remember to go buy the freaking hose and nozzle, I might just run away forever.

Happy Monday to you three people that actually read this and the 5K people a day that come to learn how to clean your oven via Pinterest. Interesting mix people, interesting mix.

Seriously, find something to laugh at today. It makes adulting SO much better.