Oh, you know, it’s just practically perfect over here this morning on Lavender Lane. The air is crisp, Stan Getz is playing over the Echo, and I’m drinking what appears to be somewhat of a healthy smoothie concoction.
The four-legged creatures that drive me insane are actually more or less well behaved. One is wearing a dog sweater, the other is trying to get said dog sweater OFF the other dog. I’ll let you suss out who is who in this particular scenario.
Truthfully, I had to get through the past few weeks to really process the past few weeks. Life came at me pretty aggressively. I don’t know how else to articulate my thoughts on the past few weeks, other than it was a partial cluster f&*K (oh hey, look at me not being profane), and partially amazing.
I think that is the best way to describe this little life of mine- part cluster, part incredible. Depends on the hour, minute and the day.
As per usual, the past few weeks have been filled with introspection, injuries and internal inquiry. No major life decisions have been made, no incredible revelations, but instead just doing the work of being a semi-functioning adult.
Things I know to be true this Wednesday morning:
1.) Being honest with yourself is hard.
2.) Not injuring yourself, if you are predisposed to be a klutz, is even harder.
3.) Chasing something is different than working towards a goal. I’m trying hard to chase less (in general.)
4.) The older I get, the less I want to keep my mouth shut. This is not particularly new or shocking, but I find myself having to buy more duct tape these days to avoid offending people.
So, that’s my story morning glory. What is yours on this crisp fall morning?
This whole year of 40 has been a whirlwind. No, seriously.
One minute, it’s Memorial Day weekend, and next thing I know, I’m hauling out boxes of Halloween decor.
Where did this year go?
I’ve had a good year. Travelled, adventured, lived and hell even loved a little. Did all the things, or at the very least, a portion of the list that I created for myself earlier in the year.
I was able to spend a few glorious days in Sonoma, and I’m so thankful for that time, given the current horrific fires that are eating up wine country.
I hiked in Colorado.
I drank in Detroit.
I floated on the river in North Dakota.
I lost myself in San Francisco for a few days.
I bought a fair amount of bubbles in Napa.
I sat on my favorite porch and made plans.
This year. This 40th year has not sucked.
It’s been particularly filled with introspection and trying to figure out what the hell I want out of the next 40.
With a group of thirsty friends, we’ve plowed through over 73 of the 100 bottles of bubbles I’ve decided to conquer. Only 27 more to go- whoa. I wonder what the 100th bottle will be and I wonder who shall share it with me?
The quest to find a partner of sorts continues. Oh, the quest goes on. I chatted with a compadre today and I realized that because I’ve gone this far without settling, I’d be an ass to do so now. I’ve made some pretty big missteps along the way, but without them, wouldn’t life be oh-so-boring?
Missteps, near misses and blissful avoidance of disasters. That’s the key to this year. Sidestepping the colossal errors and tweaking the minor ones.
Be where you are. Not some place in the past or the future. A line from my favorite play. Rather my mantra for the year. Stop wondering where you are going- just keep moving on. LOVE IT. (Skip to the bottom to read the entire song. Glorious stuff, really.)
Things I know to be true:
1.) I still am in the middle of a wild affair with any music that I fall head over heels in love with every morning. Music feeds me just as much as any fat, carb or protein.
2.) My house is finally looking more like what I imagined. In typical Kate fashion, this must indicate that it’s time to move on. Or not? Who knows.
3.) One can not have regrets for things not attempted or finished. More on that in the spring.
4.) I’m even more obnoxiously outspoken and for that, I have no shame.
So, as this year comes to a gorgeous finale, I look towards the change of the year. Something new.
Halfway through this 40th year of mine, I must admit, it’s been bigly good.
from the musical “Sunday in the Park With George”
Music and Lyrics by Stephen Sondheim
Stop worrying where you’re going—move on .
If you can know where you’re going, you’ve gone .
Just keep moving on.
I chose, and my world was shaken—so what?
The choice may have been mistaken, the choosing was not.
You have to move on.
Look at what you want,
not at where you are,
not at what you’ll be.
Look at all the things you’ve done for me:
opened up my eyes, taught me how to see,
notice every tree,
understand the light,
concentrate on now.
I want to explore the light.
I want to find how to get through,
through to something new,
Something of my own—move on.
Stop worrying if your vision is new.
Let others make that decision—they usually do.
You keep moving on.
Look at what you’ve done , then at what you want,
not at where you are, what you’ll be.
Look at all the things you’ve done for me.
Let me give to you something in return.
See what’s in my eyes
And the color of my hair
And the way it catches light
And the care
And the feeling
And the life moving on!
We’ve always belonged together.
We will always belong together.
Just keep moving on.
Anything you do, let it come from you.
Then it will be new.
Give us more to see…